Today has been a wonderful day! I keep finding myself saying things like "really", "no way", "I can't ask you to do that". Then I'm reminded this journey is so much bigger than me; I can't truly trust in God to provide and then not take the gift offered me.
I am so eternally grateful for your willingness to step in and take us on "like family." I keep getting sweet little comments on my FaceBook, in my e-mail and through phone calls. It makes my heart smile! Now, I'm partial and I think I have a pretty great family but we are nothing special. Sorry James, Caitlin, Lauren and Emily~we couldn't keep it secret forever. So friends, don't get offended if I don't reply to the "extremely generous claims", they just leave me speechless, lol.
This wasn't a choice for us that took place over night. Being real here, we ignored it, ran from it, 20 questioned it, and flat out said "no way!" We had a scenario played out of our future, afterall, we got married young, had children young, and our reward ~ we'd still be young when our kids were grown~ ooh yeah! We love our girls, love our lives, love being their parents. We are blessed with such a crazy beautiful life!
Since the girls are older now, James and I have had the opportunity to have lots of date nights, weekend get aways and a glimpse into what our future would be like. Let's just say it was looking pretty inticing. So, when we started feeling that we might be called to add to our family, it threw us for a loop, a panic or maybe just under the bus.
Are you kidding me, my kids are old enough to wake themselves up and put themselves to bed AND every step required in between. That is a nice place to be, I can hear the Dave Ramsey "FREEDOM" screaming in my head as I type this. The funny thing with life, as you get older perspectives change. Same with your faith, the more you "know" the more you grow, the more your views change and the more you DO.
I guess that's why grandparents always say grandchildren are so great, if they knew it was going to be so wonderful they would of had them first (or are mine just wierd~ tell me you've heard that). I think with life experience and maturity we get the bigger picture. The seasons in life we hope will past quickly, DO, before you know it you're asking where has the time has gone? Where is my little girl?
Maybe I'm just rambling, I am on emotional overload these days. Let me make myself clear, I adore my girls. They are the bomb diggity. I would go back and do it all over again, even the colic, the being woke up and threw up on in the middle of the night, the terrible two's, the emotional roller coasters, the girl drama ~ ooh wait I'm still doing alot of this... somewhere between going to Africa.living in the moment. planning a future ~ focused onl mine and James' dreams and happiness...
We were hit right in the face, with the fact, we try daily to live our lives to Glorify God. That our lives here on earth are temporary, and at the beginning & end of every day it flat out wasn't about us...
then one day I had a check in my spirit one day during my quite time:
Beth, you would give your life in a moment to save the life of a child but you won't live your life and do the same?
That is true I believe for most people. I think we'd donate an organ if needed, If a child was in the street we'd risk our lives to get them out of harms way, you get the idea. So we decided to be obedient to the passion God placed in our hearts and trust in Him to work out the details.... God is so in the details.
So please, don't think our family is any different that yours. We are just a family who have been blessed to see adoption up close and personal and we liked what we seen. So for those of you have considered it, thought about it, wondered...don't run from it cause the bus will just keep on comin' ~might as well get on board.
love, Beth
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